Bad Weather = Busy Weekend

Anticipating the wretched weather that we are in store for this weekend, I headed to Hobby Lobby this week and spent well over $100 on things to do this weekend for our Project Sweet Pea - MJ's Memories. We started today because I was lucky enough to get out of work early. We still have a lot of work to do in order to get ready for April delivery date goal. I know that we can make, we have just been very busy these last few weeks. So I guess the bad weather kind of works out nice for us, because this way we can get a jump start on the things that we need to get done. 

I tied 100 bows this evening for our girl bags. I thought it would take a lot longer, but it didn't, so that was a nice surprise. We put five bows in each bag with a small thing of surgical lubricant, which gets sticky when it dries. This will allow parents of a NICU baby girl to have a small way of dressing up their new daughter. NICU babies cannot wear clothes for such a long time, and these bows will give parents a small sense of normalcy. What new parent doesn't just love dressing up their new baby?

We still have tons of fabric from the large fleece blankets that have been donated. So I have been cutting the fleece blankets into smaller sizes and sowing them together with a decorative fleece to make an oh-so-cute baby blanket for our bags. I just totally love this ladybug fabric for several reasons. A.) It's just too cute! B.) Every parent of an angel has something that reminds them of their angel. Kate, one of Project Sweet Peas founders, has a daughter Shannon who was also born with CDH. Shannon is an angel, just like MJ. Butterflies remind me of MJ and Ladybugs remind Kate of Shannon. I was lucky enough to receive a sign from heaven from Shannon a few weeks ago. The weather has started to become warm here in Kansas (minus this coming weekend!) and we have been taking Will on walks several times a week. The first time we took him on a walk was kind of hard for me. When I was pregnant I used to daydream all the time on how we would take out the double stroller and go on our walks and just have the best time with our two boys. Taking out the single stroller was a little heartbreaking, as every new thing that we have done with Will has turned out to be. When we got home I was a little more bummed thinking about it, and we came inside and I put Will down on his play gym. Right next to his play gym was a ladybug. Mind you, there is absolutely no reason for a ladybug to be out in the beginning of March, just as the weather turns warm. It was a sign from Heaven, from Shannon. I think she was telling me that she was taking care of my little boy. You see, Shannon has been in Heaven for three years, so she must know the ropes by now! Now every time I see a ladybug I think of Shannon and how I know that she must be taking care of my little boy! 

This week we also received some baby blankets from my mother in law, Cathy. She knits them and they are just beautiful! They are the perfect size for our bags and I know that she makes them with such love. They are such a perfect addition to our bags!!

Signs

So right after I clicked "Publish Post" I heard the song Second Chance by Shinedown. Even before I gave birth I would hear that song and think of MJ. I remember when I was pregnant and hearing it thinking, "what if we lose MJ and saying goodbye is like a second chance for MJ?" I know it's totally crazy and weird, but I really remember thinking that. And then I remember the guilt that would come with thinking that. I would think, "how can you even think for one moment that he won't come home?" You see, we knew when I was pregnant that MJ had CDH. We knew the statistics. (Although I truly thought the Internet was evil and lied). We knew there was a chance he would never come home. And the only time I let that thought enter my head was when I heard that song.

And now, I hear that song and I think of MJ. I know that I have posted those lyrics on here before and spoke about how I think that saying good bye is a second chance for MJ. A chance to be free of tubes and pain. A chance to speak to us from Heaven and a chance to do to live in God's grace.

Well when I heard that song today I know it was MJ. I know he was 'speaking to me'. Even after his death, he continues to amaze me. I love him so much and I miss him terribly.

You never know where life is gonna take you

It's amazing how things happen. It really is. When we delivered our first bags a few weeks ago, I posted how our friends had delivered their baby, Xavier, 14 weeks too early and was transferred to Children's Mercy. They were the first people to receive a bag donated by MJ's Memories. Xavier is holding his own and slowly growing and doing well.

Well, last night I was contacted by my old college softball coach. I haven't spoke to him since I graduated four years ago. He told me that his daughter was recently born with Spina Bifida and is recovering from surgery at Children's Mercy. That's right, the same hospital MJ was at, the same hospital that we donated our bags to. His daughter, Evie, seems to be doing well and may just come home today or tomorrow, which is amazing! He also told me that him and his wife want to help and get involved and get my old softball team involved! It is so crazy and insane that this happened and by some bizarre twist of fate we are able to contact with my old coach and hopefully donate even more bags.

And it's all because of MJ. Though my son's days was short, it seems as though his life is living on through others. I feel like I can really say and believe that right now. He has made a lasting impression on people I never thought I would speak to again, opened the door to many amazing friendships to form, and has forever changed me. If I could give it all back, I would, so I could have my son. But at the same time, I am forever grateful to him for making so many things happen. I miss MJ so much and I am so glad for the days I spent with him while he was here on this Earth. I now I am so glad that he really is continuing to live on through Project Sweet Peas.

We Are Ready!

Well, we got the bags in on Friday afternoon, and we woke up today and decided to get them all filled and ready to go. We are both off of work on Monday, so we are going to deliver our FIRST FIFTY BAGS on Monday!! We are soo excited! It feels so good to finally have everything that we have been working on a reality. It's also very bittersweet. There were tears today. It's hard knowing that the reason we are doing this to keep our son's memory alive. We should be holding our son and kissing him and raising our boys together.

Today when we were upstairs filling the bags we left the TV on downstairs. We were chatting and talking and having fun filling the bags and then the song 'Amazing Grace' came on the TV and we both just stopped. 'Amazing Grace' was the first song we played at MJ's funeral. Then we both became real quiet; I know I was thinking of MJ and so was my husband. It's little things like that, that let us know that MJ is with us all the time. He sends us little signs and they fill my heart. I know it does the same for my husband. I posted a few pictures of us filling the bags, and here is the letter we are putting in each bag, as well.

Dear NICU Parent,

We would like to offer you a little comfort during your son or daughter’s stay in the NICU. The bag you have just been given has been donated in memory of our son, Michael Joseph Skaggs, who we called MJ. MJ was born on July 25, 2009 with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH), which occurs when the diaphragm does not fully form, allowing the stomach organs into the chest cavity, which severely hinders lung and heart development. MJ fought for his life for 35 amazing days before passing away in the arms of his mother on the evening of August 29, 2009. MJ’s 35 days were filled with ups and downs; smiles and tears, but most of all, he knew that he was loved. We spent all of his days, and many of his nights at the hospital and we know how trying having a baby in the NICU can be. After we lost MJ we searched and thought very hard of something to do to keep his memory alive. We stumbled across a website called Project Sweet Peas.

Project Sweet Peas seeks to provide a little touch of comfort for parents of children in the intensive care units. This project was started by a group of parents who have one thing in common; we have all experienced what it is like having a critically ill child in the NICU. Through our experience we came together for support and comfort. Now it is our turn to give back. Our goal is simple: To provide gift bags that give a touch of comfort to someone in need and let them know they are not alone. We knew this was the best way to keep MJ’s memory alive. So we called our local project, MJ’s Memories, because we want to honor every single memory that he gave us during his short life.

There are many items that you will find in your gift bag. They are meant to give you a smile and let you know that we have been there and know what you need, and what you may want.

There are toiletries in case you find yourself spending the night in the NICU, just like we did many times when we thought MJ was not going to make it. There is a hat to keep your baby’s head warm. There are booties to keep his or her feet warm. MJ was notorious for pulling out all of the tubes connected to him, so there are mittens to keep your baby from doing the same. There is blanket for the first time you are able to hold your son or daughter. There is a stuffed animal to keep by your baby’s isolate. We never wanted MJ to be alone, so he always had a bear or two with him. There is a picture frame so you can leave a picture of your family with your baby, so he or she knows that you are there, even when you are not. We also included a brag book, for you to fill with photos of your baby so when you are gone, you may have a photo of them with you at all times. There is camera to take those photos. The Chap Stick, hand sanitizer, and lotion are because we know the NICU is dry and sterile. Use the wooden plaques to decorate with your baby’s name, birth date, weight and height. Use the tissue when you cry, because we know that you will. Make molds of your baby’s feet, so you remember just how tiny he or she is right now. Read to your baby with the baby book to let him or her know just how much you love them. If you have a daughter there are hair bows for you to put in her hair. The surgical lubricant is so they stick to her head (when is dries it gets sticky). Use the journals to write downs things you may want to remember, or questions for your baby’s doctor. Use the Tylenol when the moments get stressful, because we know they will. The light bothered MJ tremendously and he always had to have his eyes covered, so there is a special baby eye mask in case your baby is the same way. Also included is a Lullaby CD that you may ask the nurse to play when you are not there.

Please know that we would like to provide a shoulder to cry on, or an ear so you may vent. We have been there; we know what you are going through. Don’t be shy to give us a call or, send us an email. That is also why we do this. We were given so much support during our time in the NICU, and we know that not everyone will have that same support. The only thing we ask is that you think of MJ. As is parents the only thing we can do for him now is to make sure that he is never forgotten.

With all of our Love,

Willie, Megan, Will, and our Angel MJ

www.projectsweetpeas.com

http://mjsmemories.blogspot.com

megan@projectsweetpeas.com

Boy Bag with Project Sweet Peas Logo

Girl Bag with MJ's Memories Logo

All Fifty Bags!

Me working on filling bags

Willie working on filling bags

What a Week!

WOW it has been a very busy and hectic week. Which I think will be the story of my life until 2010. My sisters came in to visit me and I had an amazing time with them! We tied a BUNCH of bows and simply had a blast. I don't remember the last time I hung out with just the two of them, so it was really fun to be able to do that. We got all of the bows tied, so mark off another item as finished in my bags!



My husband, Willie, also put together 50 handprint/footprint kits. Willie was measuring out the plaster of paris to put in the kits, and we have a pretty amazing story from this. When he was finished at the bottom of the measuring cup was a perfect footprint! I posted the picture we took of it up, we really think it was MJ saying he is happy with what we are doing! I am so happy that he sent us this message. It means so much to me!






Yesterday we went back to Children's Mercy to meet with MJ's doctors and go over his autopsy. It was very hard, but I think overall we are happy that we went. We got to see some of his nurses that we felt close to, and I so glad that we saw them. We also wrote them a letter thanking them for everything that they did for us. I can't imagine going through that experience without them.



I also have some other GREAT news! The Topeka Capital Journal (local newspaper) is interviewing Willie and I tonight about MJ's Memories! How exciting to be getting some coverage! I also received emails from two local tv stations who would like to interview us! I am so excited, hopefully this will enable us to get a lot of donations to fill tons and tons of bags! It really makes me feel good knowing that we will be able to help a lot of families. I know it meant a lot to me.