Saturday, October 15, 2011

A Few Much Needed Updates

So it's been FOREVER since I've blogged. Not that I haven't wanted to, just that there's been so much going on that I've not really known how to include it in this blog. I've always considered this blog MJ's, so to write about anything else just felt out of place.

So here's whats been going on since I last updated about me. We miscarried in late January/beginning of February. It was the miscarriage that wouldn't end, and I had to have a D&C. It was horrible. Painful, both emotionally and physically. We gave it the mandatory two cycles until we started trying again. (Although I will admit, we tried, just without any fertility medicine help.) Our first cycle back, we did IUI again. We found out that indeed we were pregnant, the IUI worked, on Friday the 13th of May. I laughed. I couldn't believe that after all we had been through, our first cycle back we conceived again. Two weeks later was our big ultrasound (the same ultrasound that last time there was no heartbeat). I expected to see more of the same, but this time it was different. There was one beautiful heartbeat on the screen. Everything was just as it should be. A few weeks later I stopped taking the progesterone that the last time, kept my body from miscarrying. I waited for the bleeding to start, but it never did. The next doctor appointment a few weeks later, I waited for us not to be able to hear a heartbeat on the doppler (we didn't have an ultrasound scheduled). We heard it. A few weeks later, at our ultrasound appointment I waited for them to tell us that this baby would have CDH, just like MJ. They didn't. This baby is perfectly healthy in every way possible. Oh yeah, and this baby is a GIRL.

Today I am 26 weeks pregnant and everything seems to be going just as planned. I spent SO many weeks waiting for the other shoe to drop and for something to go wrong. It hasn't and I am just now beginning to believe that I will have a baby girl in my arms come January 2012. In three weeks we'll schedule my c-section, which I am guessing will be around January 13, 2012. It will be a Friday, Friday the 13th, which I oddly find comforting thinking that this baby will be born on Friday the 13th.

So because I have always viewed this blog as MJ's, I created a new blog, a family blog. I'll still update this one from time to time, because I will always miss him. I always long for him, I always hope and pray that somehow this is a bad dream and my son didn't die. I'll never move on from his death, but I can move forward, and I guess that is what this new blog is about. Moving forward and embracing life instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. So if you'd like, please come join me on the new adventure of having a sweet little girl come into our lives in January here.