Huge Success!

So yesterday's fundraising event was a widely huge success! I can't believe all the people that came to our event, and all of the support that was given to us and our quest to help send support to families who are going through the NICU experience. Not only did it feel amazing to know that so many people were helping my husband and I, but sooo many people wanted to know about MJ and his life. And that honestly means more to me then anything. I so desperatly want to make sure that MJ is never forgotten, and that his short life will live on in the love that my husband and I have for him.

The fundraiser started out pretty emotional. My little sister and I both started tearing up quite a bit, actually. Caitlyn was there when we lost MJ, so all I really had to do was look at her, and she knew what I was thinking. I am so thankful to have her in my life. And my whole family, really. My older sister has been a rock for me, to call and scream and vent. And my parents coordinated the entire fundraiser yesterday. My husband's family has been just as amazing. We truly are blessed with amazing families, and we are so thankful for them.

Anyway, soo many people came yesterday! I saw people that I went to high school with, that I haven't spoken to in years! And old neighbors and people we went to church with, and the list goes on and on. It meant so much to me that so many people came to support us. We got so many donations, easily enough to fill 200 bags full of goodies! Imagine, 200 families comforted just a bit, in memory of my amazing son MJ. How awesome is that???

We also received sooo many monetary donations and raffle ticket proceeds, and we sold 10-12 Awareness Bracelets! I wasn't really keeping count, I was talking to so many people, that it was truly a whirlwind yesterday.

And I would have to say that the best part of yesterday was meeting another Project Sweet Peas mom, Theresa. I live in Topeka, KS and my parents hosted the fundraiser in Mundelein, IL (just outside of Chicago). Theresa has started her Project, called Donny's Shining Light, in memory of her son, Donny. He is also a CDH baby who graced this Earth for six days. Theresa has just joined Project Sweet Peas, and I am so very thankful that I was able to meet her! I also got to meet her beautiful daughter, Rachel Rose. Rachel is Donny's little sister, and is 13 months old. Will (MJ's twin) totally loved her! It was so cute to see them together. It was so nice, too, to have

someone there who knows what I am going through, and I can totally relate to. Just about everyone that I talked to would say "You are doing so well . . ." and things like that. Theresa knows. She knows that I am not really doing that well, that I am real good at faking it. (Another b

logging babylost momma says 'Fake it until you make it' so that's what I am doing right now). That I can put a smile on and say, "Oh, thank you". Right now I feel like doing MJ's Memories is the one thing that I can do for my son, and therefore I have to do it the best to my ability. And that's why I am doing this. And it was so nice to have someone there yesterday who knows. And understands. And doesn't say how well I am doing, because she knows. Thank you for being there yesterday, Theresa!

Overall yesterday could not have been any better. I wish more then anything that I didn't have to do something like this. That I have my son in my arm's and we spent Christmas showering our two boys with presents and love. But instead we spend Christmas blinking back tears and feeling empty. We did our best for Will, but still, it was really hard. I love and I miss you MJ!! I hope that you are having an amazing time in Heaven. Hugs and kisses from your Mommy!

It's Been a Few Weeks

So it's been a few weeks, a few emotional weeks. The holiday's are finally over and they weren't as bad as I thought they would be. It was very good to see Will's first Christmas, but very sad to have to celebrate without MJ. I don't want to get into too many details, because knowing that we have to live and we have to go one without MJ breaks my heart.

But today is our first fundraiser for MJ's Memories! I am very excited about it, yet it is very bittersweet because I would give anything to be able to have my baby boy in my arms and not have to do something to remember him by. The fundraiser is from 3 pm to 8 pm today at Kaiser's in Mundelein, IL. I will update later on today or tomorrow on how it went, and add some photos, too.

So, I was really hoping that making and selling the Awareness Bracelets would be a really great way for income for MJ's Memories. After our first Craft Show, I thought that I was correct, but after last weekend's utter disapointment, I am just not sure if we are going to be able to. We have sold a few online (thank you to everyone who did), and a lot to family and friends (thanks!), but not enough to full fund everything that we plan on doing. I was looking around for another craft show to go to, but I can't find one for a few months. I don't know if I am looking in the right places or not. I am simply Googling 'Craft Shows in Topeka, KS'. Maybe I am not doing it right? I thought that in the Art and Craft Show world that there were events just about every weekend. I must be either wrong or not looking in the right places.

Hopefully at the end of the month at the fundraiser that my parents are doing, called MJ's HUGS (Help Us Give Support) that we will be able to sell a lot. I am really excited about that fundraiser. We have a ton of great raffle prizes, and they have already sold a ton of raffle tickets, which is really cool!

I sent out my first gift bag today (sort of), which is a little exciting. Averi Hope is a CDH baby who is really struggling right now. Prayers would be appreciated! Anyway, I met her mom, when she was still pregnant, and it turns out that she is from Fremont, CA, which is were my husband, Willie is from! Small world! Anyway, I sent her out a package today with some stuff that is gonna be included in our bags: a name plaque, baby blanket, teddy bear, birth record pillow, baby girl bows, and a deck of cards for Teresa and Kevin. I hope that they really like it! I hope that it can at least make them smile for a bit, because I know how hard it is to go through the incredibly emtional roller coaster that they are going through right now. Averi is going through a lot of the same stuff that MJ went through, and I just pray every day for a different outcome. I get so upset when any CDH baby losses their battle, and I feel especially close to this family because of the similarities of Averi and MJ. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as Averi continues her battle.