The greatest gift life has given me is my family: my amazing husband, identical twin sons, and baby girl due in January 2012. Twin A, William Glen, is a happy and healthy toddler who brightens my every moment. Twin B, Michael Joseph, fought a very brave fight with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH), but passed away in my arms when he was 35 days old. Our baby girl Maci Jayne, is due to join our family in January 2012.
So this year I am totally in the Christmas spirit (I guess). We have all of our decorations up, almost all of our presents bought (everytime I think I am done, I think of something else I want to buy!), and this weekend we are baking cookies with my sister. We went a little overboard this year on presents for Will. I think its because in my own way I am trying to make up for last year. We tried our very best last year to pretend as though Christmas wasn't happening. We didn't buy presents, didn't decorate, didn't do anything. So this year, Will has a TON of presents to open on Christmas Day. Our stockings are adorable! I bought them off a lady on Etsy and I just love how they turned out.
So we have our stockings for all of us. I don't really think that I can bear the thought of having MJ's stocking empty on Christmas Day. We bought him an ornament, and we also had a brick engraved for him at our local zoo. But you can't really wrap up a brick that is being laid at the zoo, so all that will be in his stocking will be an ornament. If any other BLM's have any ideas of what else I could have for MJ in his stocking, please let me know! I am really excited about the brick for him, though. It will be laid in front of the Children's Zoo, and it says, "Angel MJ Loved 4 Ever". We already are planning on having Will's 2nd birthday party there, so we will have a nice photo opp. I think it will be really cute. But other then that, that's all I got.
As much as I am actually excited about Christmas this year, I am also not. Its hard, each day, each month, and each year it gets harder, and easier at the same time. I think only another parent of an angel can comprehend that statement.
Anyway, the year is fastly ending, and the emotions are ever changing. Missing my baby, hoping for another one, and raising Will takes a lot of my time! I am excited and scared, sad and happy all at the same time. My emotions are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get!