Very Bittersweet Day

Today there are so many great things going on. I have received two emails from people wanting to donate to MJ's Memories! One of them had her son in the NICU at one of the hospitals that we donate bags to for four months before he came home. Her family and friends are organizing a fundraiser to help offset their medical costs and she wants to donate a portion of the proceeds to us! And she would like us to be there to talk about MJ's Memories and set up a donation box and sell our bracelets! Which is amazing. Each and every day I am surprised at the way people react to MJ's Memories. So many people want to help and in the best ways. It truly brings tears to my eyes knowing that all of this is happening because of my little boy.

The other email I received was from a lady who set up a donation drive at her office and would like to meet up with me so that she may donate the items that she collected.

The third amazing thing that happened today is for CDH Awareness! For those of you who don't know, March 31st is CDH Awareness Day. Governors and mayors across the country have proclaimed March 31 as Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Awareness Day, and I sent a request in to the mayor of Topeka, KS. (The state of Kansas has already proclaimed it). I heard back from the mayor's office today and he is not only going to sign it, but we will be able to receive it at the City Council meeting at the end of the month! What a great way to get as much awareness out as possible!

So while I am so happy that today brings so many things, my heart stings, I feel that sucker punched feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I hate it. I want to have my son in my arms celebrating these amazing things with me. I imagine that the rest of my life will be filled with these bittersweet moments. I feel them each and every day. With the little things that Will, MJ's twin does. The smiles he gives me, and the things that he learns each and every day. So incredibly bittersweet. I long for time when I was able to truly smile. But I don't think that I will ever be able to do that again. I think that throughout the rest of my life, I will always have the bittersweet smile. I will never stop missing MJ and I will always ache for him to be in my arms.