Sunday, July 25, 2010

Happy Birthday to both of My Boys!

One year ago today I gave birth to two of the most precious things I have ever laid eyes one. William Glen Skaggs IV was born at 3:26 am and Michael Joseph Skaggs was born at 3:27 am.  I never thought I would have to celebrate their birthday without MJ, but I do and I am. We are having a small party for Will, and keepings things very light and easy. I feel as though at the moment I am seperating my emotions from the day. I can be and I am happy to see Will turn one. But my heart lies with MJ and the devastation of losing him.

I miss MJ so much, and I want him back so bad. Yesterday we spent the day making items for our gift bags for MJ's Memories, our project through Project Sweet Peas that we deliver care packages to families that have a baby in the NICU. We made baby eye masks, isolette name plaques, baby girl hair bows, and memory boxes for families that lose their babies. My mom said it best when she said that we should have been playing with two baby boys yesterday, but since we can't, we can do these things in MJ's name, and keep his memory and life alive. (I'll post some pictures later.)

Today is not has hard as I thought it would be, at least not now. I don't know what the party or tonight will bring.

I will never understand the path that God has chosen for us this side of Heaven, but the one thing that I can do is allow Him to lead us in this crazy thing called grief.

To my sweet, sweet Will: You have brought an incredible amount of smiles into our life the past year, and I don't know where I would be without you. Thank you for being such an incredible son and for brightening so many dark days. I love and appreciate you more then you will ever know.

To my angel MJ: Thank you for blessing us with your life for 35 precious days. There is nothing I want more in life then to be able to watch you grow up. You have changed my entire life and way of being. You have made me a better person and a better mother to your twin brother. I am better for knowing you. I love you with everything that I have.


Megan B ♥ said...

Happy birthday, boys! And congrats, mommy! I found that the build up to our first anniversary (just last November) just about pushed me over the edge. Like you, the day wasn't as bad as I had expected. I think the anticipation was much, much worse. I hope these evening brings you peace. Hugs!

Tina said...

Happy Birthday to TWO very special little boys. I hope you are having a peaceful day Megan. xx

Lori said...

Thinking of you on this very special and precious day!!!! Happy birthday to both of your sweet boys!

With Out My Punkin said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet boys, I'm sorry if I did something to offend you and delete me...I hope that MJ sent you extra love from above.