Signs

So right after I clicked "Publish Post" I heard the song Second Chance by Shinedown. Even before I gave birth I would hear that song and think of MJ. I remember when I was pregnant and hearing it thinking, "what if we lose MJ and saying goodbye is like a second chance for MJ?" I know it's totally crazy and weird, but I really remember thinking that. And then I remember the guilt that would come with thinking that. I would think, "how can you even think for one moment that he won't come home?" You see, we knew when I was pregnant that MJ had CDH. We knew the statistics. (Although I truly thought the Internet was evil and lied). We knew there was a chance he would never come home. And the only time I let that thought enter my head was when I heard that song.

And now, I hear that song and I think of MJ. I know that I have posted those lyrics on here before and spoke about how I think that saying good bye is a second chance for MJ. A chance to be free of tubes and pain. A chance to speak to us from Heaven and a chance to do to live in God's grace.

Well when I heard that song today I know it was MJ. I know he was 'speaking to me'. Even after his death, he continues to amaze me. I love him so much and I miss him terribly.